(airdate: 3 Jul 96) To Hell and Back sound files

A flashback to Stockbridge, Massachusetts, 1993 where Matt is sitting in an interrogation room. He has no idea of why he is there or why the detectives are interrogating him. He tells them he has to return to Boston Central Critical Unit, and his words are only greeted with derisive laughter. They tell him he's 80 miles away from Boston. Matt is still confused but he is granted one phone call where he telephones the hospital to ask another doctor to cover for him. After hanging up, he suddenly has a vision of his wife, who is covered in blood, lying in a gurney. He starts to panic and demands what has happened. One of the detectives bring in a doll wrapped in a blanket, asking him if he recognizes it. At first he didn't, so he picks up the doll to examine it. When he unwraps the blanket around the doll, he begins to scream in horror. Before the scene fades away, a voice is heard, presumably belonging to one of the detectives, saying "son of a bitch killed his wife and kid".

It is present day. A charity auction is being held at someone's mansion for the hospital. Lucas is in the process of auctioning off a pair of white porcelain puppies. Matt, Gail, and Caleb are at the auction too, but Matt is actually thousands of miles away, still thinking of that night in Massachusetts. The doggies end up in Gail's possession since Lucas puts her in the spot to bid for them.

Lucas strikes up a conversation with a Dr. Pike, who is the head of the hospital board. He finds out that a meeting is going to be held the next day to discuss the renewal of Matt's contract. Lucas then joins in on the conversation Caleb and Matt is having by the buffet table. Doreen, another citizen of Trinity, joins in also. She hears her husband, Chester, laughing in another room and is embarassed for she knows he is drunk. Lucas makes some snide comments about Chester which are actually aimed at bringing up Matt's drunken past. He then excuses himself to take care of Chester who is becoming a bit too loud. Doreen apologizes to Matt for her husband's behavior. She then makes an observation about Matt, how she sees someone regretful of his past. Matt replies that she has no idea exactly how regretful he is; and seeing that she brought up something sorrowful, she excuses herself also to see to her husband.

Later on, we see Boone, Caleb, and Rose entering Caleb's room, talking avidly about a horror movie they have just seen. Rose then tells them about their creepy neighbor, Mr. Emmett. The three of them look out the window to see Emmett dragging a heavy sack across his garden.

The old man stops and listens as if he has heard them so they duck down from the window. Caleb then claims that he isn't afraid of him and proceeds to go over to Emmett's house to talk to him. When he reaches the old man's fence, he peeks over to find Emmett beginning to dig a hole in the ground. Suddenly, the old man drops to his knees and begin crying the word "Omar" to the moon as Caleb watches in fearful fascination.

Meanwhile, Selena is seen cruising down a road in her yellow corvette. She sees an overturned car in the distance, blocking the road. She slows her car to a stop in bewilderment. As she is staring at the car, a bloodied Chester suddenly appears outside her car window. Both he and Doreen have been in a terrible accident. Doreen is rushed to the hospital in critical condition.

It is the next day and Gail and Caleb are in the garden of the boarding house. Gail is giving lessons about poisonous flowers. She then asks Caleb about his gossiping about Mr. Emmett. Caleb tells her he believes that he is burying dead bodies in his backyard so what he is telling people is not plain gossip.

Back at the hospital, Doreen appears to have gone into a coma. Matt decides to stay with her because he has "nothing else to do and no one else to do it with". He begins to talk to her inert form, telling her how it is important that she pulls out of her coma because there is nothing worse than leaving this world without at least saying good-bye to those close to her, even her worthless husband does not deserve that. Matt leans his head on her bedside and as he is resting, he hallucinates that the person on the bed is actually his wife who is covered in blood. He snaps awake immediately.

Later on, Lucas brings Chester to the Matt's office to see him. Matt is infuriated at Chester for leaving last night after beeing bandaged up without even asking about his wife. Lucas starts to make two-edged remarks again about Chester's condition which are more directed at Matt. Matt tells him to shut up in anger. The phone rings, breaking the tension, but the news it brings is that Doreen has gone code blue. Matt rushes to her room and begins to perform emergency rescue procedures on her. In the midst of his trying to revive her, he again hallucinates that she is actually his wife and he is so shocked that he cannot even go on with the rescue.

After that ordeal, as Matt is heading for his office, he has another hallucination. This time, he sees his daughter, Claire, in a wheelchair in the hallway, calling out to him. But when he blinks, he sees that the wheelchair is only occupied by a sick little girl. He nevertheless is extremely distressed so he hurries into his office and begins to rummage through his shelves for something (a bottle, perhaps?). His search is interrupted by Gail who has dropped in to talk about Caleb's gossiping. She thinks his constant talk about Emmett's burying dead bodies in his yard is too morbid. To her disappointment, Matt not only is unable to offer any advice, he instead supplies her with more morbid comments. She leaves in frustration.

Matt has another vision of his wife later on when he is looking over Doreen. He sees a bloody Lily (his wife's name) clutching the doll that belonged to Claire, asking him where is "my little bitty pretty one", which was what they referred to Claire as.

Meanwhile, Caleb is sneeking into Emmett's garden. As he is peeking into the old man's greenhouse, he is suddenly grabbed from behind by the owner of the house. Emmett drags Caleb over to the hole he has been digging to show him. To Caleb's horror, he sees that the bottom of the hole is covered with bones. Caleb struggles free from Emmett's grasp and runs away horrified.

After a harrowing day at the hospital, Matt escapes to a blues bar for a drink--club soda that is. Selena appears by his side and begins to chat with him. They talk about his regrets and Matt even says how he wishes he could change things. She tries to tempt him with her drink so he tells her how tonight is actually the anniversary of his wife and daughter's death. They had died three years ago and that was basically the end of all that mattered to him. He hands her glass back to her and seeing that he has resisted her temptation, she leaves.

But after Matt leaves the bar, he finds that he is still not safe from temptation. Lucas awaits him. He starts chatting about how he and Matt are alike and how he knows about Matt's demons by giving him examples of things he had done in the past which he still regrets to this day. So Lucas offers him a chance to return to the past to change things. He also offers Matt oblivion, so that he won't remember all that had happened. He begins to wave a bottle of vodka in front of Matt, as if to mesmirize him, telling him that once he drinks from the bottle, he will be given a second chance and oblivion afterwards. Lucas then departs. Matt finally gives in and takes a drink from the bottle.

He suddenly finds himself in the middle of a road at night, and a car is approaching him. When the car stops, his daughter gets out and runs to greet him. Matt is overjoyed to see both Claire and his wife alive again. He gets in the car to drive. Inside, Claire asks him if he received a letter she had left for him. He says he didn't but that he will look for it. She slips another letter in his pocket instead and tells him to read it later. Matt then tries to talk to Lily, asking her if she's mad at him. He finds out that she is actually infuriated at him for his behavior at her party that night. He apologizes and tells her that he's going to change things, that's why he came back. She gets even angrier for he makes no sense to her so she thinks he's drunk again. She begins searching in his coat and finds the vodka bottle in his pocket. He tries to assuage her by telling her it's not his, but she doesn't believe. She forces him out of the car in anger. Matt finds out then that he was actually driving them to Lily's mother's house because Lily has decided to leave him. Lily then gets in the car and drives away without him. Matt tries to run after the car but to no avail. A sudden screech of tires and the deafening sound of a car crash occurs...and everything that matters to Matt is once again gone forever.

Caleb is visiting Emmett the next morning to try to talk to him this time. Emmett tells Caleb why he was digging the hole. His best friend, his dog, Omar, had died recently. He had buried Omar by the river but then he realized that Omar would be lonely out there so he decided to bring his bones back to his home and bury them in his yard. He takes Caleb to Omar's new grave and tells him how much he misses his friend as he is tossing Omar's toys and belongings into the grave. Merlyn appears with Omar and tells Caleb that when dogs die, they get to run free in the day and sit by their masters at night. Omar goes over to his master and lies down next to him. A smile slowly lites up Emmett's face as he seems to sense his friend by him.

At the hospital, the meeting for Matt's contract renewal is about to take place. When Dr. Pike finds out that Matt did not come in that morning, he decides to postpone the discussion. But then Lucas appears and informs the board that Matt has returned to Massachusetts and hints at the possibility that Matt is probably out drunk somewhere. Dr. Pike is indignant for Matt because Lucas is talking bad about him and the man is not present to defend himself. He starts remonstrating Lucas' attacking Matt but quiets down when Lucas threatens him by saying he will tell the rest of the board members that he had hired a doctor who had plead nolo contendre to vehicular manslaughter. Just as Lucas was about to gather votes for Matt's dismissal, Matt appears in the doorway. He goes up to Lucas and asks why he didn't uphold his part of the bargain by granting him oblivion. Lucas tells him that he gave him the truth which is what he wanted anyway but if he really wants oblivion, he can give that to him too. Matt says that he no longer wants oblivion, that he only wants to get Lucas back. He then leaves the meeting room.

As he is walking out in the hallway, he remembers Claire's words to him about the letter she gave him. He reaches into his coat pocket and finds her letter. She writes in her letter that she forgives him for whatever mistakes he made and that she loves him always. Matt starts to break down at his daughter's sweet words of forgiveness. He then sees the little girl in the wheelchair. He walks over to her and gives her a smile that is almost equivalent to the sun appearing after a storm. She returns the smile.

1. August 2002